If you're not in the mood for reading self-pitying whingebaggery, please click away now.
I'm homesick. The initial excitement has worn off, and there's little I wouldn't give for a glass of chilled white wine and a chat with an old friend. Looking after the girls all day, much as I love them to pieces, can also make me cry with boredom sometimes. Just getting anywhere is totally exhausting. Take today's project, Project Swimming Pool. Once the gathering of swimsuits/waterwings/ plastic tea set had taken place, the screaming ones placated with biscuits, the car booked, the car seats installed, the log book filled out, I realised I'd run out of money to pay the entrance fee. After a kind person had been identified, money borrowed, biscuit eaters installed in car, perilous dirt tracks negotiated (including truck parked half way across), parking space identified (pool jam packed due to wedding reception), I realised I had forgotten to bring a towel. The pool in question is about 1.5 km away, but impossible to get to on foot, at least with small children. I'd had enough by this point - we all drip-dried and I probably flashed my bottom at some wedding guests. (no changing rooms, either.) Add to this the voice in my head murmuring well at least you have the luxury of swimming..did you see that kid with the gerry can and no shoes? There are days when it fuels my zeal to Do Something, and days when it stalls in knackered apathy.
I can't wait to meet some other mums. The team house is great, but relief work is mainly a singles (or childless) game. Everyone works during the week, so I spend quite a lot of time on my own policing Em and Glo and it's a bit isolated. For now. But at least this is a stage I recognise - the weird, slightly painful settling-in phase that you just have to go through before things improve. It was the same in Switzerland. Not having a husband around or our own home - our own home! We've not had one for 3 months and I'm gagging for one - doesn't help.
On the upside, someone just came back from the UK with some M&S Extremely Chocolately Biscuit Rounds. I think I shall go and eat one now, and suspect that afterwards I will feel much better.
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7 comments:
Eat only one? You deserve more after writing such a hilarious story! :-) But after my laughs I feel sorry for you too! But I'm sure it will get better in time and you'll enjoy it to the full! Much love for the four of you!
Wen
Hang in and eat a handful. I had found your blog in Switzerland and am happy to see you are blogging from your new "home." I hope things settle down a bit soon.
Eat the lot!
poor you i know just how you feel ;;it took me ages to settle here and the loneliness was unbearable at times-and not knowing the rules of another country i hope it gets better and i know it will.relocation is nightmare but rewarding ultimately. It helps sometimes to look on it as an adventure. xxx
Great to get the news, even if it is not perfect. You are brave and honest. We're all rootin' for you. Love from all at Arvon Road
My dear friend, homesickness is very much part of the package, but as you know it does get better. May I offer some unsolicited advice? I'm quite sure you can find an excellent and loving nanny at a very reasonable rate, or indeed perhaps an international-style nursery for the girls which would give you some adult time to yourself. Perhaps you could find some work, or maybe something voluntary, which would help you to meet people in your own right and re-inforce your non-mummy persona. Although I sometimes resent working full-time, I also think being at home full-time would test my patience to the limit. And Joaquim loves nursery and they both love the nanny too, so actually the guilt is minimal.
Oops, forgot about number 3 on the way. Maybe not the best time to go looking for work, but even more reason to find a good nanny!!! BTW when are you due?
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